Who Says Irises Only Change Once?
by paramoria
Summary: When Chloe comes clean about her past, Beca must accept that the woman she loves has done the unthinkable. (Pitch Perfect/Would You Rather crossover)


Beca peeled her lips from Chloe's and rested their foreheads together. She moved her hand from Chloe's waist to her jaw, caressing her face. The brunette's eyes washed over Chloe's body, over her long, ginger locks and perfectly sculpted body. She bit her lip, but decided it was finally time. "I love you," she whispered, looking straight into Chloe's big orbs. A warm smile made itself evident on her lips. She had been wanting to say that for a long time now.

The smile slowly faded as she watched her girlfriend pull away, eyes wide, with a distorted facial expression. It was a mixture of surprise and horror with a tinge of something Beca couldn't read. "No," escaped Chloe's trembling lips. She slowly started to shake her head. "No, Beca..." She swallowed hard, but the lump in her throat wouldn't go down, "...you can't." Her voice was strained and hoarse.

Beca reacted by grabbing Chloe's hand, but the redhead pulled away, moving off the bed. This wasn't like her. This wasn't like her at all. Unsure of what to do, Beca did nothing. She sat and watched as Chloe ran her fingers through her hair and tried to calm down. "I didn't mean to upset you," Beca finally spoke. "But, I do love you."

Chloe just started shaking her head again. "You can't love me."

"And why not?" Chloe looked over and stared into Beca's eyes.

"Nobody could love someone like me."

Beca pulled herself to the end of the bed and sat there in disbelief. "Chloe, of course I can love someone like you. You're the best person I know. You care about people and try to help them in any way possible. You see someone looking sad, and you walk up to them and talk to them about it. You don't even know who they are, but you help them through their issues. You know how to lighten the mood and make everyone feel at ease. You try your absolute hardest to make sure I'm happy. It's crazy how perfect you are, Chloe Beale." Beca pushed herself off the bed and moved towards Chloe, but the redhead moved away again, this time with tears stinging her eyes.

"I don't deserve you," Chloe said, voice cracking with every word. She crossed her arms and played with her bottom lip, an ancient nervous habit.

"_I_ don't deserve _you_." The brunette reached out one last time, grazing her hand against Chloe's which was still tugging at her lip.

"Just don't, Beca," Chloe blurted out, moving to the other side of the room with her back to the brunette. Beca sighed, annoyed with Chloe's lack of explanation of her actions.

"Babe, I just want to understand what's going on in your head. I've never seen you like this before," she said softly, keeping her distance. Chloe slowly turned around. Her make-up was running down her face and was smeared all over her upper cheeks. Beca didn't even hear her sob once. She had never really seen or heard her girlfriend cry before, and now she understood why.

"Sit down," Chloe commanded. Beca went back to the bed and rested on the very edge. Chloe stepped in front of Beca, but remained standing. She sighed and rubbed her hands together. "I- I haven't told you...everything about myself. I haven't been- I haven't been completely honest with you.

"My parents don't live in Florida. They're dead. They died before I started attending college." She swallowed hard and wiped a few black tears from her face. "I had a brother, Raleigh. He suffered from cancer. He needed a bone marrow transplant, but we just didn't have the money. Our parents left us in debt, and I couldn't find a job in the small town we lived in. It was so hard. Then a man, Shepard Lambrick, contacted me through my brother's doctor. He said he could help us. All I had to do was go to a dinner party at his mansion and play a game. If I won, my brother would get a transplant and all our debt would disappear. I couldn't pass it up. Why didn't I just ignore him..." She trailed off.

Picking up again, she continued, "I went to the party and met two guys. Cal and-" her voice cracked again, "-Lucas." Chloe put her hand to her side and touched the small scar that she never talked about through her shirt. "Skipping forward, the dinner began and almost immediately I feel a red flag go up. Lambrick served us steak, and, as you know, I'm a vegetarian so I politely pointed it out. He said that's all there was to eat, but offered me ten thousand dollars to eat one piece. I did it. I hadn't touched meat since elementary school, and I gave up all my hard work for ten thousand dollars. It took all I had to eat that piece, Beca. Everything. And it was nothing compared to what I would endure the rest of the night. Absolutely nothing.

"When the game began after dinner, they brought in an electric generator and strapped things to our heads. One man, who was paid fifty thousand dollars to break sixteen years of soberness, got up and tried to leave, but was shot on the spot." Beca's eyes grew wide as Chloe spoke, but her eyes never strayed from Chloe's face. "They made us choose if we would we rather electrocute ourselves or the person next to us. I sat in-between Cal and Lucas. Cal sacrificed himself for the woman across from him, Amy, a real bitch who turned out to not be a bitch. In the beginning, she was taking the game to the next level, or, I guess, the level Lambrick wanted us to take it. Either way, when it came down to me, Lucas shocked himself and I did the same."

There was something different about the way Chloe spoke. Beca couldn't put a definitive finger on it, but there was definitely something off. The look in her eyes was foreign to the brunette. They looked almost glazed over.

"Chloe...Did it hurt?"

"Of course, but it wasn't as bad as what came after. The next round was when I got my scar. The choice was either whip one man three times or stab your neighbor in the thigh. Stabbing someone in the thigh could kill them, so everyone on my side of the table chose the whip. There was a woman in a wheelchair and-" Chloe stopped herself, remembering the terrible accident. "She didn't make it. And Amy, that tragic woman, was given the option to stab anyone anywhere. And as you can probably guess, she chose me."

"Jesus Christ..."

"We retaliated and revolted. Lucas almost died making sure I got away. I bolted out the doors and tried to find a way out. I made it all the way to the basement, but was grabbed by the son of Lambrick. He beat me up and even tried to rape me, but I still had the ice pick which Amy stabbed me with. I stabbed him in the leg, but was caught by the butler and was brought back to the game. I was so close, Beca. I was inches away from safety. There was a window I could crawl out off just beyond my reach."

"But, you did get out," Beca said during Chloe's pause, trying to wrap her head around the entire fucked up situation.

"I'll get to that." Beca nodded. "There were four of us left when I returned. We started with eight. Half of us were dead, and Lambrick didn't even care. He liked to watch us suffer.

"He started the next round with passing out cards. A barrel came in that was full of water. The options were go with the unknown or the known: have your head held underwater for two minutes. The gambler among us picked the card. He blew off his hand and died of a heart attack. Lucas picked the card and had to slit his eye open. There was no way in Hell I was taking the card. The butler held me underwater for two minutes, and I almost didn't make it." Beca nodded to herself. Chloe's fear of water didn't seem so irrational anymore.

"Beca..." Chloe finally moved to her girlfriend, and Beca welcomed her with open arms. Chloe sobbed silently into Beca's neck, getting make-up all over the brunette's shirt. "It was so terrible," she managed to say. "All I could think about was my brother. He had this reccurring dream that he was on a boat and it tipped over, throwing him out and pinning him and me and other people under it, drowning us. He said I would try to grab his hand and help him, but we would just sink faster and faster until we all..." she trailed off, breaking out into tears again. Beca rubbed her back, trying to help her relax. She pulled away a few minutes later and continued her story.

"Next was Amy. She opened her card to find out she had to be in the barrel for four minutes. Before she took a deep breath, her head was shoved in the bucket. She wouldn't have lasted two minutes, much less four. Lucas and I had to watch her squirm and pull, trying to get air. It was horrifying. Drowning is...it's one of the worst ways to go.

"Once she was gone, it was down to me and Lucas. After a flip of a coin, I was picked to go first. I was the one to choose between life and death for us both. My options were to leave right then. Just walk out the door and never look back. Lucas too, both of us alive, but without any money, besides my ten thousand dollars which I had completely forgotten about at this point. Or, the other option, shoot Lucas and win. He started telling me how much he understood where I was coming from, being there for my brother, and how we were so similar. He mentioned how he was there for someone else, his three sisters and- that's as far as he got. I shot him, Beca. I shot him right in the heart, and I don't know why." She grew flustered, "We could have walked out! He could have lived! He could have gone home. I can't explain what was going on in my mind at that moment. Those were the longest thirty seconds of my life. I don't know what came over me, what caused me to pull the trigger, but it happened and I hate myself everyday because of it. It haunts me in my sleep. When I close my eyes, I see the life draining from his eye. I can still hear his voice, his calm, soothing voice, telling me how we have to work together to survive. He was the nicest man I've ever met, and I murdered him. And for what? Money? A transplant for my brother? It was worthless in the end. You want to know why? When I got home, after all that shit happened, I went into to my brother's room to tell him the good news, and he was dead, Beca. He had overdosed on all of his medicine, taking every single pill he had! Lambrick already had an appointment set up for his surgery at the end of the week! He would have been fine! But no, he overdosed because he thought he was a burden on me. He felt like he ruined my life by forcing me to take care of him. It was a choice! He was my brother! _I killed for him!_"

Beca's mouth gaped open. She didn't know what to say. What was she supposed to say? I'm sorry your brother died? I'm sorry you went through that? No, those were shitty things people say when they hear a sad story from some friend. Chloe wasn't some friend, she was the girl Beca loved. The brunette pulled Chloe back in, deciding saying nothing was best.

It all finally made sense. The reason behind Chloe's irrational fears of weapons, water and horror flicks had been brought to light. Her burning desire to help everyone was a way of compensating for what she had seen and done. It broke Beca's heart.

"Why didn't you go to the police?"

"I'd be hunted down and killed. They warned me if I told anyone the truth, they'd kill me. At first, I kept quiet because I had the money and was safe. Eventually, I kept quiet out of fear and to keep the memories away. I've been going to therapy for years. When I say I'm going to go work out, I go to therapy. It's Hell, Beca. It really is. I can't verbally explain what I've been through psychologically. I literally cannot find the words to explain it. It's impossible. That night really fucked me up." Chloe pulled away a bit.

Beca wiped a tear away from Chloe's nose. "You're not fucked up. You're safe now and have been for a long time. You have me and Aubrey to take care of you. I'll keep you safe. I love you. You can come to me, and we can talk about anything, you know that, right? I'll always be here for you." Chloe leaned in and locked lips with Beca, pulling her in for a hug, then rested her chin in the crook of her neck. "Am I the first one you've told?" Beca whispered.

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry, Chloe. For all of that. Nobody deserves to go through what you did."

"My name's not even Chloe," she mumbled.

"What?" Chloe pulled away so she could look Beca in the eye.

"After his funeral, I still had all the money from winning the game, so I decided to use it to go to college. I never had that option before. So, I changed my name, dyed my hair, and moved here." She shrugged her shoulders with a sad smile.

"What's your real name?" Beca questioned.

"Iris," she replied, literally choking on the word. "But, don't use it. I'm Chloe Beale now and forever." She lunged forward and buried her face in Beca's chest, embracing her warmth. "I'm sorry I dumped all that on you at once."

"It lets me know you trust me. Thank you."

"I'm just glad you're not running the other way," she giggled. Beca grinned. Chloe was back to being Chloe.

She wrapped her arms around the redhead and hugged her tightly. "I'd never run from you. You've got me on a leash." Beca could feel Chloe's smile against her chest.

"I love you too, Beca Mitchell."


End file.
